Us and Them

Episode 4, May 2010
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Like a shadow that follows a man in his footsteps, so has conflict been so tightly woven to the fabric of the human condition. The more radiant the light that is cast, the greater the divide and contrast in what we perceive. These days, with so many sources casting shadows of division, where does it stop, this line between us and them?

Welcome to this Two Mile Stretch; May 2010, episode four.

Conflict is nothing new — and it's been a part of most of human history. The word conflict comes in part from the Latin term, "conflictus", which means "a contest"; and in its broader context "struck together." It conjures up imagery of two titans, engaged together in ancient hand-to-hand combat, competing against one another for the crowning victory.

If we consider some of the more modern conflicts and wars of our recent history, segregating friend from foe was generally an easy exercise. The lines of battle were clear and precise; either you were for or against a given cause, belief or value. Often times those boundaries reflected distinct territorial lines, lines between us and them.

I liken that distinction, that boundary line to a shadow cast by a light source — and that light source being a given belief, value system, or desired outcome. And the more intense that source or motivation, the greater the division with no questions asked. You're either for us, or against us. I'm sure many innocent lives were lost to the edge of such a divisive sword.

Fast-forward to our present day in America — I watch the flurry of debate on the news networks, the intensely heated arguments back and forth on social networks, the abundant misinformation spread to reinforce ones ideas, and the distinctions that we draw between each other as Americans. We, as a people have so many things in common, so many things that could bind us together; but it seems that our culture has made it even easier to find all the reasons in the world why we're different, incompatible, and on opposing sides. It's a wonder that these 50 states are united at all anymore.

Like an agent interrogating a suspect under a solitary bright light, we foist our perspective upon one another creating divide after divide, separating the proverbial sheep from the goats — those who are with us, and those who are not. And it feels right for us to do so — after all, it's our right, our prerogative, our opinion...and we're right.

When does it ever stop? When do we say "enough" to the divisiveness and find commonalities to build upon? Is it enough to solely surround ourselves with other same-minded individuals? And is it enough to just believe what we believe or think what we think, and cut off those that think differently or have a different perspective? And to what end? When we've isolated ourselves, argue with friends, divided brother against brother, and even gone to war with blood spilled over such differences? When will it stop when we've pinned neighbor against neighbor, friend against friend, and are left standing in isolated pockets of self interest?

If we have any hope of survival or progress, maybe somewhere within the fog of our war of words served up in 24-hour news cycles, we could find a thread of commonality — the desire to be understood, to be shown compassion, and treated with dignity, decency and respect. I feel that the Prayer of Saint Francis confronts our dilemma with sound reason, "...grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned..." The high road here: setting out first to understand, to console, to love, forgive, and pardon.

What would our nation be like, even our world, if we applied this counter-cultural way of thinking. And what would life be like if we made conscious strides towards seeking first to understand, console, love, and forgive. I think the great divide might no longer be so great, between us and them.

Instead of featuring one of my own poems this month, I wanted to offer another version of the Prayer of Saint Francis, used commonly within AA circles. I find it compelling, inspiring and a challenge to how I conduct my life.

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is gladness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved;
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.

I regret that I do not have a brand new featured song this month — between a bout with the flu, dealing with a nasty cold, the hectic schedule of work, and balancing family life, I just was not able to write a brand new song this month. But to make it up to you in part, I wanted to share a song from my days with old my band Crash Effect. Enjoy.

Two Mile Stretch is a collection of reflections, poetry, photographs and music by Michael Tangen. This episode is copyright 2010, all rights reserved. "Beauty Queen" is copyright 2006 Michael Tangen, performed by Crash Effect. And the featured short composition "Prayer of Saint Francis" as presented by Alcoholics Anonymous is from Chapter 11 of "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions", a book published by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

To purchase the featured song or to order prints of the photog raphs used in this podcast, visit twomilestretch.com, and then select episode four from the episode tab.